


Soccer Ball

by Berryberryblitz



Series: Berry's Kaito One-shots/Short Stories [36]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Accident, Accidental Death, Anger, Angst, Blood, Comfort, Crime, Dark, Death, Guilt, Hate, Heist, Hurt, Hurt!Kaito, Hurt!Shinichi, Jealousy, M/M, Murder, Pain, Regret, Revenge, So much angst, Teamwork, Tears, Unrequited Love, frienship, hakuba is hurting, hurt!Hakuba, oblivious kaito, shinichi is hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26912164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berryberryblitz/pseuds/Berryberryblitz
Summary: A heist goes wrong, and the detectives are left behind. Emotions stew.[Pre-Written on Wattpad]
Relationships: Hakuba Saguru & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Hakuba Saguru & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid & Nakamori Aoko, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid & Nakamori Aoko
Series: Berry's Kaito One-shots/Short Stories [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509362
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	1. Soccer Ball (Accident)

**Author's Note:**

> Written July 5 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad August 2 2020  
> Posted here October 9 2020

Shinichi smirked, satisfaction hitting him as he chased Kid across the roof. The heist had gone well in his opinion, especially since he'd managed to stop the sneaky guy from taking tonight's gem. Kid snuck a backwards glance at the sleuth before hopping off the roof, glider opening and catching the wind with ease.

So Kid wasn't going to hang around for their usual banter? Azure gleamed, well that was fine. Shinichi released a soccer ball from his belt, immediately sending the ball after the thief with a swift kick. He wasn't wearing the power shoes that he'd used when he'd been Conan, but that didn't mean that the kick wasn't ridiculously strong.

The sleuth blinked, gawking when instead of dodging like he usually did, the thief actually got hit. Shinichi stared in numb silence as the thief's glider faltered, sending the other tumbling out of the air. The sleuth heard a curse behind him, making him turn just in time to see Saguru retreating down the stairs. After a moment, Shinichi followed after him "He should be okay right?" He inquired as he caught up to the other, an uneasy feeling curling in his gut. The museum had been around 5 stories tall, not to mention that there had been trees to break the thief's fall.

Saguru pursed his lips, noting the genuine concern exuding from the other "I would hope so" His friend was quite good at falling safely, but that didn't mean that he still couldn't worry for the guy.

When they made it to the estimated crash area, the two detectives began to look for any signs of Kid's escape, but so far they'd found none, which would be normal in most circumstances "We should expand the search area" Shinichi breathed after a half hour of searching, the blond nodded in agreement.

Around another half hour after that, the sleuth spotted signs of a tumble, broken branches were everywhere "Over here!" He whisper yelled at the other detective before following the trail of broken branches. He immediately heard the other start making his way over. There was a concerning amount of blood.

"That idiot!" Saguru cursed, visibly distressed at the sight of the blood "He should know by now that he should patch himself up first" It wasn't like there were any Crows at the heist, and his friend knew that he was attending. He could have asked for help.

"I'm sorry" Shinichi grimaced "I didn't think that I'd actually hit him"

The blond's shoulder's sagged a bit "It's fine" His friend was well aware that the sleuth often kicked soccer balls at him, especially since Kaito whined about it all the time. Saguru opened his mouth to say something else before a flash of white caught his eye "Kid!" He hissed, alarmed at the sight of the thief crumpled on the ground. He ran over, checking the other's vitals, gold burning when he felt no pulse "He's dead" His words were hollow as he gently brushed some hair out of his friend's face. The left side of his forehead was caked in blood, bone visible. Saguru lowered his gaze, Kaito hadn't died right away, he'd suffered since the body was still quite warm.

"What?!" Shinichi was kneeling next to Saguru, azure wide with horror after checking Kid's pulse for himself.

The sound of the sleuth's breath hitching brought Saguru's teary gaze away from Kaito. Shinichi was chalk while, and looked like he was going into shock, he grit his teeth "Oi" Shinichi jolted as if struck, gaze clearing a bit "You're going to help me fake his death" He forced his feelings away, he'd deal with them later.

Shinichi was silent for a few moments before slowly nodding, mind whirling "The shooters will go after his family won't they?" His words were scratchy "I'll help" His breath stuttered "It's the least I can do" For killing him, even if he wasn't the one to physically do it. He lowered his head "But then how can I pay for my crime if we cover my crime up?"

Saguru sighed, feeling exhausted "Your intent wasn't malicious" Kaito was actually quite fond of the sleuth and enjoyed their games "You'd do more good free than behind bars" He glanced down at Kaito's chest, still, unmoving "Kaito wouldn't want you to go to jail for this"

The sleuth blinked, azure turning towards the thief's face "His name was Kaito?" He gave a sad smile "What an ironic name" A Kaitou named Kaito "It suits him"

* * *

Shinichi felt like he was going to throw up when he finally returned back home. He and Saguru had framed Kaito's death to be that of a random killing drop off, having removed the magician's clothes for non-incriminating ones, tearing and bloodying them to match his injuries before dropping of the body into a random ally, one that wasn't too deserted to make sure that Kaito would be found. It had been so horrifyingly easy to do, at least physically.

It felt wrong that he wasn't going to be punished, didn't he always say that people should atone for their crimes? Shinichi shakily crawled beneath the blankets. He was going to call in sick today, he didn't think he'd be able to handle it if he had to work on the magician's murder. He'd speak to Saguru later to find a way to protect Kaito's family from suspicion. He hadn't done so earlier since he'd figured that the blond needed to be alone, the guy looked to be at his limit in keeping calm.

* * *

Saguru wiped the tears from his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd returned home. Kaito was gone, one of his first proper friends had died, and he couldn't even go after the person at fault! Of all things he'd been prepared for, sniping, assassination, stabbing, he hadn't prepared himself of the possibility of it being accidental.

Tonight should have been a simple heist since the Crows hadn't been expected to arrive for such a small heist. He hadn't had the chance to steel himself since there'd been no need to, or so he'd thought.


	2. Soccer Ball (Funeral)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written July 25 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad August 9 2020  
> Posted here October 16 2020

Azure was dull as the sleuth kept his head lowered, he felt like an outsider, like he didn't deserve to be here at Kaito's funeral. So far he'd kept himself near the back, allowing the magician's friends and family to not notice his presence

"K-Kaito?!" Shinichi blinked at the fearful voice, turning towards the sound of the voice. The speaker had been a girl around his own age, she was ghostly pale, her blue eyes blown wide with shock as she stared at him, mouth agape.

Oh, Shinichi grimaced sympathetically, this was awkward "Kudo Shinichi" He corrected softly.

The girl blinked, form relaxing a bit "Oh..." Her cheeks flushed, she should have known better "Sorry, I'm Nakamori Aoko" Aoko greeted, since it'd be rude not to. She eyed the other curiously "Aoko doesn't recognize you" She knew all of Kaito's friends, and the magician had never once mentioned a Shinichi.

Shinichi was silent for a few moments before responding "He knew that I was trying to keep a low profile" It was true in a way "We were" Rivals? Allies? Not enemies... "Friends" It felt odd to actually admit that he'd kinda considered the thief as a friend of sorts, the admittance made his eyes start to burn "He always kept me on my toes" Shit, why was he feeling like he was going to cry?

"Kaito really was fond of Kudo-kun" Both teens jumped a bit at Saguru's surprise arrival to their corner. Gold rested on the sleuth, watching as Shinichi swallowed nervously before breaking the eye contact "He always complained about him" But there'd always been such a soft fondness in his voice as he did so.

Saguru knew? So why hadn't Kaito told her as well? "Why didn't Kaito tell Aoko?" They'd been friends for a lot longer.

Gold softened with understanding "Kaito only told me because I am a detective like Kudo-kun"

"Oh..." That made her feel a little bit better. Aoko glanced at the two males, the atmosphere now felt kinda awkward now "I'm going to go see my dad now" With that she left the two detectives alone.

"Thank you" Shinichi breathed, this was the first time they'd actually met since Kaito's death. He hadn't expected the other to help him like that.

"It's fine" Saguru dismissed the thanks, he didn't want it "I was only telling the truth" He'd just left out exactly how much Kaito had cared for the sleuth. His knuckles whitened from how tightly his fists clenched, he wanted to punch the other, but that wouldn't solve anything. He let out a breath "To be quite frank, I'm furious with you" Why did Shinichi of all people have to be the one who killed Kaito? It would have been better if it'd been anyone else but him! Saguru grit his teeth "He didn't just like you" His friend had fallen for the sleuth, in more ways than one it seemed.

Azure widened, Kaito had loved him? That was... He didn't know how he felt about that. He opened his mouth to reply, but paused when he saw the anguish swirling within those golden eyes "You loved him" The words escaped before he could even think about stopping them.

The blond gave a stiff nod "And you killed him" His words were sharp, almost dangerous. Why had that idiot have to fall for Shinichi? If he hadn't then he wouldn't have had to pull all of those extra heists in order to see the guy. Why Shinichi, when he was right there? Why hadn't he been good enough?! The only reason why the last heist had been planned was mainly for Kaito to see the sleuth, before other things had forced Kaito to turn it into a simple snatch and run. If he'd been better, would Kaito have still been alive?

Shinichi lowered his head, suddenly feeling sick "I did" Saying sorry would never bring back the dead, he knew that.

Gold narrowed "You better start practising soon" His tone lowered "You need to do a few heists to protect Kaito's identity" If he had to, the blond would probably be able to do it, but it'd probably work better if the sleuth did it "You need to take responsibility and protect Kaito's family and friends in his place"

A heist? Saguru was expecting him to copy Kaito and pull off a heist? More than one heist? "I can't" He hissed "I don't have any of his stuff" Kid's equipment was just as iconic as his suit, and he wasn't sure if the professor could replicate it correctly.

"I'll bring you to his workshop" He was so glad that Kaito had trusted him enough to show him the place, it'd been so fascinating. Now though, it felt too lonely to enter without Kaito there to work on some sort of crazy contraption "It'll have everything that you'll need to do a few heists" Kaito had liked to make things in bulk so that he always had what he needed to suit his whims "I'll even help you before and during the heists" He wouldn't let the sleuth get caught, it'd bring up way too many questions since the guy had a solid alibi.

A small thrum of excitement hit the sleuth at the thought of visiting _Kid's_ workshop, but it was swiftly quelled by the circumstances revolving around said visit "Okay, then I'll do it" If only Kaito could have been the one to show him, not Saguru. Azure filled with determination "I'll make sure that nobody will suspect Kuroba" It felt weird calling him that, but he hadn't been given permission to use his first name.

Saguru nodded "very well" He gave a small bow "I'll leave you alone now" He didn't want to be around the sleuth any more than he had to. He was still too angry at him and didn't want to do something that he knew he'd regret. With that, he headed back to join some of his classmates.

Shinichi leaned back into the shadows, feeling numb, this whole situation shouldn't even be happening, but it was.


	3. Soccer Ball (Workshop)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written August 1 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad August 16 2020  
> Posted here October 23 2020
> 
> NEXT UPDATE is on November 6 2020

Shinichi's breath caught in his throat as he took in his surroundings, it just felt so surreal. He was, in Kid's workshop, the place where Kaito did most of his heist planning. Saguru had arrived on his doorstep early that morning looking quite disgruntled as he roughly dragged him into his housekeeper's car. At first he'd been wary, considering that they hadn't left on a good note the last time they'd met. Eventually, after relishing in the sleuth's nervousness for a good long while, the blond informed him of their destination. The unease was then replaced with some sort of horrible excitement.

"Don't touch anything unless you have to" Saguru's tone was tired as he leaned beside the exit, arms crossed with his gaze pointed at the passageway. It had taken him days to build up enough courage and self control to actually bring the other here. He wanted to keep all the traces of Kaito's presence here for as long as he could. The half finished model of the magician's newest electric grappling hook made his heart clench. He'd helped a lot with that one, and now it would never be completed. It would just collect dust as it sat there innocently on one of the many tables. It couldn't be completed, not without Kaito.

The sleuth swallowed, suddenly very wary of accidentally touching something he shouldn't. He could clearly see the areas that were completely caked with dust "Would it be okay if I looked at the really dusty areas?" The dust was too thick for Kaito to have ever disturbed the area.

Gold clenched shut as the blond lowered his head "That should be fine..." Kaito had left those areas alone to preserve the memory of his father, but the younger magician wasn't around anymore for it to matter "The person who would have cared isn't around anymore" He bit out.

Shinichi grimaced, a new wave of guilt hitting him hard as he silently moved over towards a dusty table. He felt like the other would snap at him if he said anything else.

Normally, he'd put on gloves or get a cloth or something to wipe away the dust, but instead he just picked up what looked to be some sort of pulling device. Azure watered as he blinked away the displaced dust, gently wiping it from the device. It didn't look broken, it just seemed outdated due to it's clunky size since he needed both hands to hold it. Shinichi bit his lip, he'd have the professor look at it to make sure that it was safe to use.

Since people were obviously going to notice that his equipment looked to be mostly outdated, maybe he'd make the heists into themed ones, maybe retro style? Or retro meets the future? Retro and future colliding? He was bad with names.

Azure turned towards somewhat familiar round balls, they were a different colour and size, but he was pretty sure that they were some old smoke bombs, or sleep bombs? He wasn't sure.... But wouldn't they have already expired by now? What if they weren't safe anymore?

He set both the device and the balls on the floor, in a place that he was sure that he wasn't going to step. He'd test out the bombs on himself later, hadn't Kid once offhandedly told him that he always tested everything on himself first? He'd been scolding the thief about how dangerous it was to test new things on others, Kid's response had both surprised him, and worried him. If the old smoke bombs made him sick, then that was fine, he deserved it after all. What was getting sick compared to death?

Okay, so he had a pulling device and some smoke bombs, that was a good start... He probably had the hang glider, if Saguru let him touch it... Kaito probably had spares right? And he obviously had a ton of Kid outfits considering how easily the guy threw them away.

The sleuth frowned, he needed some more tools, maybe he could make some small remote bombs. He knew how to make them, his father had taught him in Hawaii. He wouldn't be able to do any disguise tricks like Kid, so he needed to be more prepared.

Shinichi looked so much like Kaito, it hurt to see the other rummaging around the workshop. The sight was so familiar, yet so different. The silence hurt almost as much as the sight. The only times that it'd been relatively silent here was when Kaito had been too hurt to keep up an idle chatter between the two of them. Whenever the two of them were here together, there was always noise of some sort as the magician tinkered with his tools, chatting about heist plans or random useless stuff.

_"Sa-chan Sa-chan Sa-chan!" Kaito was practically vibrating, indigos glowed excitedly as he held out his newest toy for the other to see._

_Gold peered curiously at the tiny green balls cupped in Kaito's hands "Something tells me that the smoke isn't just going to be a different colour..."_

_Kaito snickered, cheeks flushed from the stuffy air, it was summer "It's not actually smoke" A wide grin spread across his face "It's clear slime"_

_Okay, that sounded like something too simple to warrant such excitement "What does it do?" He inquired, trying to seem calm. Dear lord Kaito needed to stop smiling like that, he wanted to kiss him so bad._

_The magician's endearing smile morphed into a devious smirk "It leaves behind a substance that makes you glow in the dark" It was clear so that it'd seem more innocent "It can only come off with vinegar water at a 50% concentration level" Pure vinegar seemed kinda dangerous so 50% should be enough to make them smell for a good while._

"I think that I've collected the items that I could try to use"

Saguru blinked, dragged out of the memory, he eyed the sleuth, the other was filthy and covered in dust. Shinichi also wasn't meeting his gaze "I see..." That messy hair and dusty appearance, combined with the dim lighting... He could almost mistake him for Kaito after a day of working in the hideout... Another ache hit his heart at the thought.


	4. Soccer Ball (Tsuki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written August 3 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad August 23 2020  
> Posted here November 6 2020

Saguru sighed, exhaustion overwhelming him as he sat, leaning against the headboard of his bed, knees tucked to his chest. He hadn't physically done much that day, but that didn't stop the mental exhaustion from hitting him. Tsuki, Kaito's youngest dove, wasn't doing so well, and the vet hadn't known what to do to help her.

He cradled the small bird, gently stroking her feathers, noting that they were dull and that she'd gotten lighter. The magician's other doves were a lot older and more independent, so while they'd been upset, they weren't as bad off as Tsuki. The young dove hadn't been allowed out to explore on her own due to how her training hadn't been completed, meaning that she had been the closest to Kaito.

The blond had heard tales about how some birds didn't do well after their owner's death, simply too heartbroken to keep living. He just hadn't thought that he'd ever had to deal with it. Gold softened, watering a bit, would Watson go through the same sadness as Tsuki if he got killed during a case? He wasn't sure, but he hoped not. Watson wasn't really the affectionate sort of bird like Tsuki anyways. It should be fine.

Saguru bit his lip as he eyed Tsuki, she wasn't eating and the stress of being force-fed by a vet wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't fix the problem, Tsuki would still miss Kaito. He gave her a nice scratch on the cheek, Tsuki cooed softly, leaning into the touch, nuzzling his finger. He'd phone a different vet again tomorrow to see if they knew anything that could help.

_"Hey Saguru"_

_Said blond turned his attention away from the book he'd been reading, gold narrowed as he eyed the other with suspicion "What are you hiding behind your back?" Normally Kaito hid things in a way that didn't make it obvious that he was hiding something. He also didn't bother to even ask why Kaito was in his house, it was redundant by this point._

_Kaito snickered, amused by how wary Saguru was "It's not 'what' but 'who' am I hiding behind my back" He corrected, carefully bringing his hands in front of him._

_Saguru blinked, there was a tiny dove in Kaito's hands "It's so small" He was used to Watson, and the magician's other doves, the adult ones. He'd never actually seen such a young dove in person._

_"She" Kaito's smile turned soft "Is finally old enough to leave the house with me" He was now confident that she wouldn't fly away from him "Her name is Tsuki" Indigos gleamed "Do you want to hold her?"_

When Saguru woke up, he felt numb. The good dream only made waking up and facing the day feel like even more of a challenge. He stayed curled up under his blankets for a bit before deciding that he had to get up and fill Tsuki's food and water bowls with fresh food and water. Sure he'd filled them to the brim the other day, but fresh food and water might be more enticing to Tsuki. Even if said food was horrifyingly fatty and mostly treats. Unhealthy food was better than no food after all.

He stifled a yawn, not bothering to change out of his pyjamas as he sleepily made his way over towards Tsuki's bowls. The food was untouched and the water wasn't as low as it should have been. He tossed said food out the window and refilled the bowl before snatching the water bowl and heading towards the bathroom sink. Once his task of refreshing Tsuki's bowls was finished, he went about to look for said bird. He already had an idea of where Tsuki may be sleeping.

"Tsu-" Saguru froze "Ki?" Tsuki was indeed on Kaito's favoured armchair, but she wasn't comfortably nestled on the cushion like usual. She was curled up in a way that he'd never seen her before.

"Oh..." Gold burned as he gently scooped up the bird, she felt a lot heavier than before, but not in a good way. He held her to his chest, carrying her downstairs, to the kitchen "Baaya" His words rasped "Do you have any boxes that you don't want?"

The woman glanced up from where she'd been setting the table, looking confused before her gaze softened "I'll get you one Saguru" She'd gotten one a bit ago, just in case. Though she'd been hoping that it wouldn't have to be used.

The blond just stood there, cradling Tsuki as he watched Baaya leave the room and come back with a small wooden box "Thank you" His voice cracked as he gently placed Tsuki inside once Baaya had removed the lid. He didn't bother wiping away his tears "It's nice" He replied lamely. The wooden box was somehow both decorative and simple, a simple cherry wood box, glossed to give it a shine, and lined with a pretty indigo velvet interior.

"Kaito-kun would be so happy to know that you did what you could for her" Baaya breathed, placing the lid on the box before capturing the blond in a hug "You're being so strong" She knew just how much the magician had meant to her ward, even if Saguru's feelings hadn't been returned.

Saguru leaned into the hug, shoulders shaking from his own sobs "I miss him so much" He hadn't known how dull his life had actually been before he'd met his friend "And now Tsuki is gone too" Kaito's other doves were just roaming the wild freely, he rarely saw them now.

"I know Saguru, I know" Her words were gentle as she rubbed Saguru's back, doing her best to comfort her heartbroken ward, who was basically like a son to her "It's okay to cry, and to be sad" She gave him a tight squeeze.

He knew that, Kaito had once told him that not crying was stupid, that feelings were good. But he just couldn't help but wish that said feelings weren't what were causing his pain in the first place "I'm going to bury her near the wild rosebush" Kaito loved roses, but it also wouldn't get in the way of Baaya when she gardened.

Baaya's gaze softened, a small smile on her lips "I think that's a great Idea"


	5. Soccer Ball (Heartbreak)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written August 11 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad September 6 2020  
> Posted here November 13 2020

_A heavy weight against his shoulder brought Saguru's attention away from his book "What are you doing?" The blond breathed, eyeing Kaito incredulously. He'd been sitting in one of his armchairs to read, but now the magician was somehow sprawled on the armrest and headrest like a cat._

_Kaito grinned, allowing himself to fall enough that the back of his head was touching the armrest opposite to the one his feet were on "Nothing" Indigos were gleaming "Just hanging around"_

_Saguru snorted "Well stop, you're going to weaken the chair if you keep doing things like that" He was pretty sure that the chair wasn't made to be used how Kaito was using it._

_The magician gave a small pout but allowed himself to slink to the ground, he then popped his head up so that his chin was resting on the armrest "Saguru, I just realized something recently and I don't know what to do" His tone was soft, almost a bit wary._

_"Oh?" Saguru raised a brow "What did the great Kaito learn?"_

_Kaito shrunk back a bit, biting his lip "I think that I'm gay" The thought had hit him like a wall when he'd saw a certain detective and though 'Oh, he looks hot' He unfortunately knew what hitting a wall felt like, and it was definitely like that. He'd ended up fumbling the rest of the heist._

_Saguru blinked "What made you think that?" He inquired, curious. He didn't want to get his hopes up too soon, just in case Kaito had been mistaken._

_A blush tinted the magician's face at the question "I think I like Kudo Shinichi" His face was burning "He just-" He waved his arms around dramatically, having difficulty finding the right words "We're so in sync whenever we team up" It was exhilarating "And I always get this excited and happy feeling whenever I spot him at a heist" He wrung his hands together "And I'm pretty sure that my heart rate speeding up isn't from fear" He gave a small laugh "Anymore" The sleuth had once been a menace, but he no longer was worried about him._

_Throughout the explanation, Saguru felt his heart crack little by little. It didn't sound like Kaito just had a crush, it seemed more like an infatuation at least. He made sure not to show his hurt as he responded "Didn't you say that Kudo-kun has almost gotten you blown up multiple times in the past?" Maybe he could persuade Kaito into thinking that being with the sleuth would be too dangerous, because frankly, it was._

_Kaito let out a small but awkward laugh, scratching his cheek "Yeah, but that was because he trusted that I'd be okay" Shinichi had trusted in his skills, which was quite flattering to say the least. Indigos softened "He lets me escape all the time, so I really don't think that he really wants to catch me" The other probably only chased him for the challenge and thrill._

_Saguru wanted to counter Kaito's words, he really did, but seeing the look on the other's face, he couldn't. His shoulders slumped as he accepted defeat, for now "From what I've observed of you during this conversation" He paused, not wanting to continue "Then I can at least affirm that you do like Kudo-kun" As much as he wanted to, he wouldn't try to ruin his friend's feelings for the sleuth. Gold glinted "But I'm not sure if he shares the sentiment" But that didn't mean that he couldn't try to win Kaito over before things got too deep._

_The magician's face was still tinted a cute pink "Thank you for listening to me" He flashed a grateful smile "You're my best friend" He felt comfortable enough to share everything with the other, he couldn't do that with Aoko, not anymore "I don't know what I would have done without you"_

_Friend, that was at least better than a crush from afar right? Shinichi wasn't even aware of Kaito's affections yet, so for now he had the advantage. Gold softened "You'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere without me to patch you up when Jii-san is gone" He was currently more trusted, that had to count for something, so what was he doing wrong? What did he need to change in order for Kaito to notice him as more than a friend?_

_Kaito gave a playful scowl "You know what I meant"_

_"Indeed" Saguru's smile was soft as he met Kaito's gaze. He would win Kaito over, he had tons of time thanks to the fact that Kaito was an international jewel thief. It added more risk to the situation which should hopefully make his friend more careful with his feelings._

_The magician stuck his tongue out playfully "Rude" Saguru was the greatest friend that he could ever have, he kinda felt silly for being worried._

He'd been wrong, with a sniff, Saguru wiped away his tears with his sleeve. His time had run out sooner than expected, and in the worst way possible. He honestly would have preferred to watch Kaito get together with Shinichi if it meant that the other would still be here. It would have hurt dearly, but not as much as his heart hurts now.

The blond grit his teeth as he thought about the sleuth, how he hadn't had much of a reaction when he'd told the other that extent of Kaito's feelings for him. The sleuth had been sorrowful, but not heartbroken. He knew it wasn't really fair, but he hated the guy. He never deserved to be the person that Kaito fell for.

With a weary sigh, Saguru quelled his own hate. If he was to help Shinichi pull off a few heists to protect those Kaito cared about, he couldn't let his own feelings interfere too much. He wouldn't help too much, just not enough for the other to not get caught, or die. Though getting caught would be a good punishment, but unfortunately that could endanger the sleuth's friends and family. Those people were innocent, it was Shinichi who was the murderer, not them.


	6. Soccer Ball (Hurt)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written August 22 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad September 13 2020  
> Posted here November 20 2020
> 
> NEXT UPDATE is on December 4 2020

Kid was standing beside him, cape billowing in the wind. Saguru's eyes burned, the other male looked exactly like Kid, but he wasn't _his_ Kid. He'd already had to stop himself from calling Shinichi Kaito multiple times after the sleuth had managed to copy the thief's unique hairstyle and donned the outfit.

"So the heist is going to start soon..." There was concern in Shinichi's tone as he eyed the museum, suddenly feeling like he wasn't up to the task. Just how had the magician managed to do well enough in the start to not get caught? His admiration for Kaito's talent was still growing even after the magician had died.

Saguru nodded, not bothering to attempt to ease the other's concern "I'm going to join the rest of the force, don't get caught" He wasn't feeling the familiar motivation that usually came with a Kid heist. He'd just say that he wasn't feeling well if anyone questions his lack of enthusiasm.

* * *

The blond held back a grimace as he spotted a flash of white between the holes in the air vents. The sleuth was lucky that the Kaitou Kid task force didn't have the most observant of people, Saguru was actually sorely tempted to call the other out, just to see the guy squirm under the pressure. Shinichi made a horrible phantom thief, the only thing he had going for him was that he had both a similar appearance and voice to Kaito.

Smoke filled the room, obscuring everyone's vision so that the blond could easily knock the glass case off the target, allowing the sleuth's claw shot to reach out and grab the gem. It was different than a hook shot since it latched onto things with claws, almost similar to a few of the grappling gun prototypes in the Kid workshop. With his own part in the heist complete, Saguru escaped the frantic room in favour of the hallway. He was in no mood to be trampled tonight.

* * *

Shinichi's heart was pounding, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he shimmied through the vents, thankful that Ginzo's yelling was masking each and every noise he made whenever he hit the sides of the vent. He'd always thought that crawling through vents would be a piece of cake! He was wrong, so horribly wrong. There was barely enough room for him to make his way through them, yet Kaito had somehow managed to learn how to do it silently? Just how had the magician managed to get both himself, and a bunch of his crazy tools through the vents?

Kid had hit this very same museum many times in the past, so it wasn't just the vents in this place that were the problem. He could actually see the most travelled paths that the other had taken based on dust and cobweb accumulation. The sleuth grimaced, if he did end up getting lost, at least he knew that he could just follow the routes with the least dust and avoid the completely dusty ones right?

* * *

"We should have had you practice moving through vents before attempting this heist" Saguru breathed a few moments before the sleuth popped his head out of the designated vent. The other was covered in dust due to a few wrong turns, though it was honestly surprising that Shinichi had exited from the right vent in the first place "If not for Nakamori-Keibu, you probably would have been caught in no time"

Shinichi frowned, slipping, more like tumbling out and onto the floor. He stood up and brushed himself off, shoulders slumped "Yeah, I realized that" He bit his lip, feeling awkward "I guess I severely underestimated Kuroba's skill level" He absently wondered what else had he just assumed was a simple trick would turn out to be actually more complicated than expected.

Gold burned as he turned away from the other "Nobody will ever be able to truly tell just how talented and amazing Kaito was" He did so many things with such ease that it often made most people underestimate the actual amount of skill that was required for most things he did. Kaito's easygoing outwards personality didn't help much with the assumptions either "Give me the gem so I can return it" He held out his hand, closing it when he felt the familiar weight of a gem. He kept his gaze away as the obviously uneasy sleuth changed into some normal clothing after handing over the gem. Shinichi wasn't skilled enough to change in the vents like Kaito was, or magically appear in different clothing.

* * *

Now that he was alone, away from any possible prying eyes, Shinichi allowed himself to sink to the ground of his bedroom. He felt sick, like the worst kind of scum in the world. He hadn't mentioned anything, but he'd seen the way Saguru had occasionally looked at him last night. Those golden eyes had been filled with love, adoration, like he'd hung the moon for him before swiftly hardening.

He hadn't even really thought about how hard it would be for Saguru to work with him, to see him dressed as Kid. Kaito's death was still relatively fresh in everyone's mind, so of course the other would have moments where he forgot that Shinichi wasn't Kaito, especially when he was copying Kaito's appearance.

Shinichi swallowed, Saguru hadn't just been crushing on Kaito, there was no way in hell that he was. The blond had been in love with the magician, there was no doubt in his mind about it. The guy was so strong, allowing his love's killer to go free and impersonate him, even if it was unrequited... The sleuth's face lost a few more shades of colour at a sudden thought, hadn't the blond informed him that Kaito had been crushing on him?...

Oh fuck, shaky hands clasped over his mouth as he willed himself not to give into the churning of his stomach and throw up. Azure burned, this situation was so messed up, how was Saguru holding together so well? Especially while working with him? He couldn't believe how mature and strong Saguru was.

It made him feel like a monster in comparison.


	7. Soccer Ball (Confrontation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written August 28 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad September 20 2020  
> Posted here December 4 2020

Shinichi eyed the text curiously, it was short and simple, telling him to go to a certain location without being followed. Saguru had no reason to even contact him anymore, especially since the sleuth had just faked Kid's death during the last heist. To be honest, it was surprising that he'd even managed to conduct four heists before doing the heist that would put an end to Kaitou Kid. Unidentifiable blood trails, broken equipment, a cliff, gunfire, and the ocean did wonders for making people assume that the body was unrecoverable.

The sleuth grimaced, Saguru had been getting colder and colder towards him as time went by. Something that he hadn't thought to be possible. So why was the other asking for a meetup? If anything, it would make more sense for the guy to avoid him like the plague. What sane person would willingly hang around the person who both looks like their loved one, and was the killer of said loved one?

A small shiver ran down Shinichi's spine, he had a bad feeling about this. He was still going to go though. Even if the look Saguru had given him when they'd last parted ways had been absolutely terrifying.

* * *

Shinichi made a curious noise in the back of his throat as he viewed the scenery. The trees had given way for a wide open space that was occupied by a cabin settled near a bluff. It had taken him at least a few hours to trek through the hiking trail to reach this point. Azure eyed the sky warily, he wouldn't be able to get back before dark. Maybe that was what the cabin was for? It didn't look desolate or unkept. Since he didn't immediately spot the blond, he headed towards the cabin and knocked on the door. He didn't want to get in trouble if the blond wasn't the one who was occupying the place.

With a click, the door unlocked and opened "I see you've made it" Saguru breathed, tone void of emotion. Dark gold glanced behind the sleuth before Saguru stepped out of the way "Come inside, we've got to talk" He'd been thinking about this for a while.

Still confused, Shinichi accepted the offer, removing his shoes as he entered "Was the fake death a fail?" He inquired. That would be bad, it would draw more suspicion to any further attempts.

"No" Saguru shook his head "It was a success" They both headed towards a seating area and sat down "Kid is truly dead now"

The wistfulness of the other's tone made guilt gnaw at the sleuth, it was his own fault "Then why am I here?" Azure stared down at his hands curled in his lap.

Saguru tilted his head, golden gaze fierce "I want you to write something" Gold glinted at the other's confused expression "Everyone around you has noticed that something has been off about you" Shinichi had been acting more distant, stressed, and just plain upset "So I want you to write a suicide note stating that you just couldn't handle the constant murders around you and the whispers about it"

The sleuth gaped, azure wide, he was too shocked to even respond.

Gold softened as a cruel smile twisted Saguru's lips "You're a murderer that can't be lawfully be punished without endangering people" He robbed the world of a kindhearted soul "If you do a actual crime in order to get punished, it could put into question your reliability" Other criminals may end up getting released since the police trusted the sleuth's judgement a little too much.

Shinichi leaned back, alarmed as his gaze flickered towards the door "I don't want to die" He was a murderer, but at least he'd be able to atone by catching other killers.

"Oh?" Saguru leaned forwards a bit, resting his elbows on his knees "You saw Kid as a rival yet you've attempted to kill him countless times..." He paused to let his words sink in "What's to stop you from acting the same way towards the next _rival_ you get?" His tone was harsh "You didn't even realize your mistakes until it was too late" He'd tried to blow Kid up, knock him out in the air, set him against dangerous criminals without warning, and in the end killed him with a high velocity blunt object while Kid had been flying. What had the sleuth thought would happen if his attempts actually worked?! Saguru was damn sure that Shinichi wasn't an idiot.

The sleuth was pale, horror dawning on him to mix with the ever present guilt that he still wasn't able to let go of "I-" His mouth snapped shut as he seemed to curl into himself. Saying that he didn't mean to wouldn't help since he actually meant to do those things... How many of his attempts would have been lethal if they'd actually worked? He hadn't been thinking.

The blond nodded, feeling a dark satisfaction at the other's emotional confliction "You're dangerous, and I'll pick up the cases when you're gone" He cocked his head "My way of thinking has widened vastly after spending so much time with Kaito" Gold glinted "I'm not so narrow minded anymore" Especially since he's created this current situation, the old him would have never even thought of it.

He knew that Kaito would be yelling and screaming at him, telling him that he was an idiot, that Shinichi's death wouldn't solve anything. But Kaito wasn't around anymore now was he? Kaito had shone so brightly that he'd left a gaping hole of darkness with his departure. He'd tried to stop his more darker thoughts, but they'd just grown over the weeks. Weeks that he'd spent in contact with Kaito's murderer who'd been untouchable until now.

Shinichi swallowed, mouth dry "You've been hurting this whole time" A lot more than he'd anticipated.

Saguru gave a sad smile, making Shinichi's guilt grow "He was my only real friend, and he was the one who made me realize how dull my life was before meeting him" Shinichi's death wouldn't bring Kaito back, but it might make him feel a little better.


	8. Soccer Ball (End)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written September 5 2020  
> Posted on Wattpad October 4 2020  
> Posted here December 11 2020

Shinichi felt tired as he returned to his house, he was both emotionally and physically drained. He'd stayed the night in the cabin with Saguru since it'd be too dangerous for him to go through the woods alone at night. The blond had insisted that he didn't want the other to die while he was nearby since then it might just complicate things. It would have looked odd since there was logically no reason for the sleuth to be in such a rush to return.

His stomach growled a bit, but the sleuth ignored it. He didn't think that he'd be able to keep anything down right now, he felt sick. While the blond hadn't actually threatened him, Saguru had still stated his wish for him to die.

The reasons why kept repeating over and over again in his head, Saguru hadn't seemed blind with fury and hurt. Instead, he'd been cool and calm, if not intense with his emotions. The other detective had been speaking logically, stating facts and concerns. Valid concerns.

Shinichi swallowed, throat feeling dry. Was he going to end up hurting someone else?

* * *

Saguru blinked as he read the newspaper, he hadn't actually expected anything to happen since it'd been a month since that night in the cabin. The news article was reporting on the disappearance of Kudo Shinichi, the only thing stopping the whole of division acting was due to the fact that there'd been a suicide note left on the sleuth's bed and that all the perishables and garbage had been taken care of.

The actual contents of the note hadn't been released, but apparently the sleuth had finally had enough of running into murders. The approximate amount of cases known to the papers had actually been astounding, the number had easily passed into the thousands. Apparently, the officers were also going to look into the shinigami rumours since those couldn't have helped the poor boy's mental state at all.

Gold watered as both guilt and satisfaction clashed within him. This was for the best right? He absolutely knew that Kaito would be disappointed in him, but he honestly didn't care. What was the point of worrying about the magician's opinion of him if said magician was already dead?

It didn't matter at all. All that really mattered was that the sleuth had been punished in a way that wouldn't endanger anyone innocent or risk criminals walking free. There was no way that the other could have been put into prison for a crime unless it was a serious crime which Shinichi would have never done willingly. It would have made people lose a dangerous amount of faith in the police. What did it say when one of the best turned out to be a criminal himself? The sleuth had been too well known for him to just be silently locked away. People would have talked, questions would have been asked. It would have been inevitable for people to find out.

Saguru sniffed, cheeks wet from tears. He'd tried to allow himself to be fine with the sleuth just helping with the cover up, he honestly had. But seeing that face working and touching Kaito's stuff had been too much. It wasn't fair that Kaito's killer had been allowed to walk away free of charge! Kaito had been an absolutely amazing person, someone who brought in so much light into his life. He just... Seeing Kaito's killer, and working with said killer, he couldn't stand it. Their faces were just too similar, maybe if they'd looked more different, it wouldn't have been as hard.

He hadn't been lying when he'd spoken to the sleuth, he really hadn't. He'd been brutally honest as he told his opinions and deductions regarding Shinichi. There'd been no threat at all, nor any seething accusations, just some difficult inquiries and statements. He'd just given the other some information that may or may not have been hard to deal with.

Shinichi had been the one to act on his suggestions. Saguru wasn't a murderer, that was impossible. The sleuth was way too smart to even listen to someone unless he himself believed it. Shinichi had come to the conclusion that he was better off dead, Saguru had just been the one to offer some information to the sleuth. It was a suicide, not a murder, he wasn't a dangerous person like the sleuth, right?

Saguru would just deal with the guilt, it'll go away soon, he just needs to think more logically. He only felt guilty because he'd known that there was a chance that this would happen and hadn't tried to stop it. That was it. It had to be.

"Oh dear, are you okay?" Baaya asked, holding out a handkerchief, worry etched across her face. 

The blond blinked away his tears before accepting the handkerchief and wiping his face "Yes Baaya" He winced at how his voice cracked "It's just a shame that such a great detective ended up in a situation where he felt like he had to do that" Kaito shouldn't have been killed.

Baaya eyed him "I think that you should stay home from school today" Her gaze softened, her surrogate son had been having a hard time ever since he'd lost Kaito. He deserved to rest.

Saguru nodded "Thank you" He offered a weak smile "I don't think that I'd be able to pay attention in class anyways" He was filled with too many conflicting emotions right now and he didn't want to deal with any questions. Aoko would be sure to fuss over him. They've become better friends recently.

"I know that you'll get through this" Baaya breathed, gaze soft as she pulled him into a hug "You're my strong and gentle boy"

The blond felt a fresh wave of tears hit him as he leaned into Baaya's arms, why did those words hurt? "I love you Baaya" He sniffed, feeling her fingers start to card through his hair.

"You're so sweet" Baaya's eyes were sparkling as she pulled away "Why don't you head upstairs and rest? I'll check on you in a bit okay?"

Saguru nodded "Yes Baaya"

**Author's Note:**

> This is fully posted on Wattpad in my Kaito Oneshot book


End file.
